Much to his dismay, Mark Joseph Nandor was born in San Jose, California, in 1972. He quickly moved to remedy the situation and a year later was living in glorious Duxbury, Massachusetts. He was able to stay there until high school, when suddenly, inexplicable market forces pulled him back to California's Bay Area. He attended Harvey Mudd College (a small, prestigious, engineering school), where the administration was unable to stop him from receiving his Bachelor of Science degree in Physics. He was later embroiled in the Graduate Physics program at THE Ohio State University (THE school is really a stickler about THE word "THE"); his advisor was likewise unsuccessful at stopping him from attaining his Doctorate. He is now "enlarging the minds" (read: "punishing and scaring the minds") of the students at THE Wellington School, opening new horizons on the landscape of mathematics and physics. Mark recently enjoyed playing Tevye in a community theater production of Fiddler on the Roof, and he gained weight "for the part" (yeah, right).
Meanwhile, as a freshman at Harvey Mudd, Mark met his future wife, Valerie. She is the only woman he's ever loved and he is sure it will stay that way. They have two children, Charis Michelle and Rose Patience. Mark and Valerie are both followers of the Christ, try to emuluate His life as best they can, and actively participate in their church; they are also smart, charming, and devastatingly beautiful people. You can tell that all of this information is accurate since Mark wrote this biography himself.